Pour Me A Story, Vol. 22
feat. Ilana Notis, the latest entrant in the Chicken Sandwich Wars, and more
hello again pals, and welcome back to Pour Me A Story. how are you doing?
today’s March 12, which I think is widely enough accepted as the first anniversary of when everyone hit “oh shit, this thing is serious” mode last year. I don’t think anybody anticipated we’d still be in largely the same spot 12 months on, but the past 24 hours feel like they’ve brought at least a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.
we still have a long way to go, but keep hanging in there folks. something resembling safer days might be coming around the corner.
I Did It, I Friggin’ Did It
allow me to be incredibly self-serving for a minute. I’ve written more than once about running in these pages, and in recent editions I’ve detailed both the highs and lows of the last few weeks of training for the half-marathon.
well, the race was last weekend, and despite having lost almost three weeks of training as I recovered from injury, I managed to grind out the 13.1 miles and finish. my mile splits got real ugly after about the first 5 miles, and my fitness hit the wall after mile 8, but I dragged my ass over that line and into the queue for a finisher medal, some orange slices and — eventually, once I got home — enough pizza to last three days.
as I wrote this on Thursday night, my body is only just starting to forgive me for the physical punishment. my back has been jammed up for the better part of three days, and the blisters that had already healed a half-dozen times since January are back in full force.
but looking back on Sunday morning, thinking about the beauty of Cherry Creek Reservoir and the Front Range stretching out alongside the course, being able to see downtown Denver on the horizon, and knowing that I had completed the longest edition of the race even though the 5K and 10K athletes were lapping me in the final mile, was 100 percent worth every ache, pain and sharp breath since.
Anyway, We Have Company
this week we welcome Ilana Notis, another member of the same brand social media manager group chat that Anjali and Grace from previous editions belong to. Ilana runs social for the iconic Flex Seal family of products (responsible for such killer ads as this) and lives in South Florida with her boyfriend and their dog Tyson, whom I promise we’ll meet shortly.
AC: howdy Ilana! how's it going this fine Thursday?
IN: Hey Adrian! Going pretty well. Enjoyed a stretch this morning and now I get to chat a bit with you. How’s it kickin’ over there?
AC: it's going good on my end! stretching is the best although I am guilty of not spending nearly enough time doing it. is that a big part of your self-care routine through These Troubled Times?
IN: Yes! The dog wakes me up early and we get started on our day with a walk and stretch. Today was lots of good energy flowing! I know if I start my day with it, I feel ready for anything. So I do it as a happiness life hack, especially on days where there’s something that intimidates me.
AC: oh that's super cool. it definitely helps to get the day going with some movement and exercise (and honestly it's nice to get it out of the way too.) I'm gonna have to request a photo of said dog too, because my readers have not been shy about letting me know that if there's mention of a pup, they wanna see that good boy. now the question on everyone's lips: what's it like working with TV infomercial legend Phil Swift?
IN: Haha! Everyone gets so excited when they hear where I work. He’s as lively in person as he is on our commercials. Brilliant mind, great boss. And he’s pretty funny! He joined us for a round of Super Smash Bros on a livestream. His main: Pac-Man.
This is Tyson, mini schnauzer, 15 years old, forever young at heart, single.
AC: we love Tyson. if there are any eligible pooches out there, is he looking for love? and not having ever had cable TV out here, I didn't see a Flex Seal ad until one night when I was sitting at the bar, rather drunk, and I watched Phil cut a boat in half and tape it back together. I was absolutely enthralled, so it was serendipitous that I ended up meeting you online shortly after. now you're hands-down the queen of good vibes in the group chat, which is very much appreciated. what's the Ilana Secret to Positive Living?
IN: Tyson’s looking for someone to enjoy his golden years with. Hit him up on his pawphone, ladies!! Secret to positive living...hmmm...I believe everything happens for a reason - even stuff we can’t understand. I’ve experienced deep loss at a young age and that’s been a big eye opener. Made me realize life is precious, enjoy the moment, and spread that love around!
AC: MORE SERENDIPITY ALERT: I just got your very positive postcard out of the mailbox. thank you! and I know you're hoping to visit Colorado this summer, but where else are you putting on the "must-go" list once we're all safe and able to travel more freely again?
IN: Sweet! That’s seriously some of my best art so far. Enjoy! Next on the travel list: Hawaii or Iceland. Seeing a volcano is next on my bucket list. My old fun fact was I’ve been to as many countries as my age. Now I’m 28 and I’ve been to 27 countries so I got some work to do when the time is right again.
AC: oh hell yeah, that’s a sick bucket list item. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a volcano? those would both be good locations to see one though. what else is on the bucket list?
IN: A lot of trying new things. Ballroom dancing, making waffle fries, and building a container home are the few that come to mind. I gotta write these down somewhere!
AC: perhaps you should make...a list! i know I know it’s crazy but it just might work. I bet waffle fries is the easiest one to accomplish though. okay two more then I’ll let you be: what is the best thing you’ve eaten this year?
IN: When I learn how to make my own waffle fries, it’s over for you chick fil a. My family friend makes this Moroccan fish. Mhmmm it’s so good, so much oil though! My boyfriend is not a fan of eating bone-in fish. Me, imma savage and enjoy it. Swallowing a fish bone does make me feel like an old school cartoon. Like omg I’m going to choke on this dang fishbone and then you take out the full skeleton like the cartoons. Guess that’s how they found their inspiration back then. 😂
AC: I will take a hard pass on fish bones too. I’ve always wanted to bake a whole fish but I’d much prefer to not find a piece of bone in every bite, so I get it. okay last one! this is where you get to plug something, anything, that’s important to you or you think more folks should know about. sky’s the limit!
IN: I definitely recommend a Moroccan fish recipe with a boneless fish! Plug...if you have something nice to say, say it! You never know who’s day you may change. We’re usually taught the opposite (if you don’t have anything nice to say). Yes some people may think I’m strange for yelling across the street “Good Luck” to a neighbor I overheard saying “wish me luck” as they left home. I believe in the universe and that sometimes these messages come from loved ones trying to share their love from afar. Trust your gut! Love your gut!
AC: ah you’re the best. thank you so much for sharing some of your time with me today!
Snowed In
this weekend Denver and the Front Range of the Rocky Mountains are expecting somewhere between 12 inches and 5 feet of snow, depending on whose forecast model or panicky tweets to believe. there’s a winter storm warning active now, even though we’re not likely to see snow until early Saturday morning.
thinking about it takes me back to the first — and probably only other — time I’ve experienced a blizzard, back in early 2015 in Maine. let’s take a look back at what not-quite-30-year-old Adrian had to say about matters.
I’d never seen a blizzard. I’d never seen what a foot of snow looked like. In my mind, “a foot of snow” was coming from the same school of measurement as NBA players’ listed heights do. I’d always heard Michael Jordan was listed at 6-foot-6-inches, but stood shorter than that. And that’s how I expected 12 inches of snow to look, too.
For that reason, I came into Tuesday’s “weather event” wholly unprepared. I bought pasta, chicken and mushrooms, and a bottle of whiskey, at the grocery store on my way home from work Monday, figuring I’d work out Tuesday’s meals on Tuesday. “How bad could it possibly be?” I reasoned. “I only live a mile from the store, and that’s not so far to drive…”
If you ever run into me this winter, feel free to call me an idiot. I earned it.
I don’t anticipate having to battle the elements on the same kind of level this time, owing to the fact that we live downtown in a major metropolitan area rather than in a much smaller city. on top of that, we’re much more well-stocked with provisions than I was six years ago, when I thought I’d be able to dig the car out like normal and traverse State Street to the grocery store.
I was wearing gym shorts and waterproof boots, assuming that the task of “clearing the car off” would involve a couple of minutes of brushing snow off the windshields and perhaps a little bit of shoveling while the engine and the heated seats warmed up.
Instead, I’d found myself almost knee-deep in the powder, with the wind whipping stinging drifts at my exposed face and arms, and it wasn’t long before I retreated to the relative comfort of my kitchen.
again, I was an idiot. if nothing else, I’ve certainly learned to be at least somewhat prepared for these things, or at least to not be entirely psychologically dominated by winter weather. still don’t think I own a flashlight though.
Worthy Consumables
I don’t mean to be an enormous piece of shit two weeks in a row in this segment, but I cannot tell a lie.
for a long time — perhaps as long as I’ve been a resident of this great nation — I’ve found it hard to go past a good chicken sandwich, and we’re in the midst of a veritable fast food arms race when it comes to chicken sandwiches. I even wrote about them, entirely unsolicited, at work last year.
I’ve also been a longtime proponent of McDonald’s, out of misguided yet fierce loyalty to my first childhood employer. on my way to pick up my race packet last Friday night, I took a detour through the Golden Arches and tried their offering in the Great Chicken Sandwich Discourse.
and even setting my fandom aside — it’s a really goddamn good sandwich. I’ve eaten a lot of bad chicken sandwiches, fast food and otherwise, and this is not one of them. it’s simple, its construction no more fancy than the competition’s efforts, and it’s just a banger. I don’t know whether it’s a limited-time-only deal or if it’s sticking around, but grab one while you can.
Parting Note
this is usually the hardest part of each week’s edition to write, given that my usual “music-listening” moments in life were my commute and my gym workouts, neither of which I’ve done for 12 months. so here’s the last song I heard before this goes out, from the soundtrack to Blue Crush, which was on TV as I banged this out. let’s get angsty!
thanks for (Christian) rocking with me this week folks. looking forward to doing it again next week.
— adrian ✌🏻