Pour Me A Story, Vol. 60
feat. Spillygal from Online!
hello there pals, and welcome back to Pour Me A Story for another rousing Friday morning special.
I honestly don’t know where the weeks and months and years have disappeared to, but we’re rapidly approaching the baby’s third (!) birthday. the fact that she’s become a whole kid is more and more evident to us every day, but I think the more surreal part is that we’ve been parents for almost three whole years. so much has happened.
so much, including 60-plus editions of this here newsletter! perhaps the craziest part about it is that I rarely go back and read old editions. perhaps it’s because they’re generally whipped up last-minute rather than deliberated on for a while, or maybe they’re more of a “moment in time". either way, I’ve had a great time, so let’s keep it rolling.
Anyway, We Have Company
this week’s guest is an internet friend who became an in-real-life friend back in 2019. I met Spillygal (not her real name, obviously, but in this newsletter we respect the wishes for semi-anonymity of our special guests) and her husband on Twitter at some point after moving to Denver in 2017 and, a couple of years later when I became an American citizen, they kindly attended the citizenship party AND brought a terrific caramel apple pie as a gift. I still think about that pie every time a holiday rolls around.
(ed. note: don’t forget that you too can have your moment in the sun on this wide-reaching publication. simply fill out the form here in as lengthy a manner as you like! the more descriptive the better.)
Adrian Crawford: tell us who you are, where you're from, and a fun fact about yourself.
SG: Hello! I'm very precious about my real name so for now you can call me Spillygal. I live in the south Denver metro area but literally everyone who knows me has been made aware that I'm a Pittsburgh-area native and a Pitt grad because my love for the Burgh borders on the obnoxious. I'm a big sister and the rest of my immediate family lives back in PA, which can be hard. I'm a mental health therapist, something I didn't decide I wanted to do until the tail-end of college, but now I can't imagine doing anything else. Fun fact: I'm one of relatively few adult women who stutter, but no one has ever been able to get me to shut up! I was on the speech and debate team in high school and I literally talk to people for a living.
AC: what has life looked like for you over the past few months? hurdles or achievements big or small? light at the end of a tunnel?
SG: The past few months have been all about cold medicine (not COVID though!), tending to friendships, and figuring out how to lead an understaffed team while still giving clients our best. I just became a lead a year ago and I've really enjoyed adding supervisory duties to having a caseload. The therapists I supervise are all in the first 2 years of their careers and I love seeing them hone their skills and intuition. Oh, and we got a Peloton in September and even though I had to take a couple weeks off a few times due to illness, travel, or stitches, I keep getting back on the bike and actually really enjoy it! If I could get myself to do strength workouts between the cycling rides I'd be really happy with myself; I've always liked weights more than cardio. I'm hopeful that I'll make physical activity a more regular part of my daily and weekly routine this year so I can tap into the longevity that I see in my 90-year-old grandmother who plays pickleball and does water aerobics.
AC: how do you see the next few months shaping up? what's on the horizon for you and yours?
SG: I've decided that 2023 is the year I reclaim my social life after the pandemic restricted everything so much that I got used to being a homebody. I want to make more friends, spend more time away from the house with those friends, have people over, do karaoke, and generally disregard the fact that I'll turn 40 in May! Aside from that, I'm excited to celebrate my mom's retirement from teaching this summer, hopefully get a visit from my stepmother-in-law from New Zealand, and keep making design decisions for my home. We just painted my husband's home office so we're thinking about the other bedrooms now. Painting is a little bit of a pain when you're doing it but it's really exciting to be ABLE to do, after renting white-walled apartments for most of my adulthood.
AC: what's something you've particularly enjoyed recently? could be anything from a funny tweet to a 27-course meal (if it's the latter, can I borrow some money).
SG: I went to 5 concerts in 5 months in the latter half of 2022: Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats, Gorillaz, Lizzo, Guster, and Avi Kaplan. I started listening to the Night Sweats discography in June ahead of their concert in August and... I haven't stopped? If there was a Spotify Wrapped for June-February I know I'd be in the Top 0.01% of the band's listeners. I can't understand Rateliff's accent at least 1/3 of the time but I absolutely do not care, because he's giving me a rough and bellowing vocal backed by a band that includes 3 horns?! More bari sax in everything, please and thank you. If you ever get the chance to see them live, take it.
AC: are there words you try to live by or an experience that's informed how you tackle problems or challenges?
SG: There's a KT Tunstall song that has been close to my heart for over a decade that includes the lyric "And just remember, you have heaven in your heart; it is inside you and it will guide you so long as you listen hard." It echoes some of the basic ideas behind my favorite type of therapy, Internal Family Systems; I've been a working therapist for 13 years and it took 8 of them before I found this theory which resonates with me more than anything else ever has. It's influenced the way I think about people in general, not just the way I work with them in a professional context. One of the most basic tenets of IFS is that every single human's multipart psyche includes the Self which remains curious, compassionate, connected, courageous, and other delightful C-words no matter how much hurt is held by our other parts. So if we can "listen hard" without judgment to what's going on inside of us and ask the right questions, we'll get in touch with our Self and hear what we need to hear.
AC: what's the best sandwich you ever ate?
SG: I still think about the tuna steak sandwich at Joe Mama's (RIP), an Italian restaurant that has now joined the ranks of Pittsburgh "stuff that used to be here." It was already off the menu long before the restaurant closed, thanks to a few head chef changes, but it became the only thing I would order for a while because nothing else could compare. It was just a nicely seasoned tuna steak with arugula and aioli on focaccia, but it was such a perfect combo of flavors and textures. And I've never had anything comparable anywhere else.
AC: each edition's guest gets to choose the song of the week (or whatever the publishing interval is). is there a tune that's been on repeat for you recently, or has particular significance to you?
SG: I take every chance I have to evangelize my favorite band Guster, so readers should check out "Terrified" from their last studio album Look Alive. Honorable mention to perhaps my favorite Guster song "Long Night" which is even more transcendent when backed by an orchestra, as they were when I saw them at Red Rocks in summer 2021.
AC: the second special guest privilege is the Free Plug -- you can plug something meaningful or important to you or something infinitely less consequential. sky's the limit!
An organization whose purpose is near and dear to my heart is Transgender Center of the Rockies. They provide individual and group counseling, support groups, case management to access affirming healthcare and updated ID documents, and other services. You can read about their services or make a donation at https://www.transgendercenteroftherockies.org/. The rights and dignity of trans and non-binary people are under attack in a really horrific way in the USA right now and cis people need to stand with and support them in whatever ways we can.
Worthy Consumables
if you, like most human beings, enjoy the thespian stylings of Harrison Ford, you’re gonna love this one.
now that I think about it, Shrinking is the second therapist-centric series we’ve watched on Apple TV+ and definitely the better of the two. while Paul Rudd and Will Ferrell’s The Shrink Next Door was a kinda dark drama based on a true story, Shrinking is the polar opposite.
Alex noted last week that it’s almost Ted Lasso-y in its feel-good nature and I think that hits the nail on the head. the towering Jason Segel plays Jimmy, a therapist who’s spent the year prior grieving about the death of his wife, ignoring his teenage daughter all the while. the aforementioned Harrison Ford plays Paul, the elder statesman of the clinic and Jimmy’s mentor, who’s perfect as the dry and deadpan foil to Segel’s bumbling and emotional character. the rest of the cast and the side story arcs are also great and I get multiple belly laughs every episode. who could pass that up?
Parting Note
you heard the lady! here’s Guster with Terrified to take us out for volume 60(ish).
thanks as always for getting this far, my friends. have a great week and we’ll do it again next Friday.
— adrian ✌🏻
Another wonderful chapter
This was delightful!